Rainbows , Rivers, Hopes, Dreams, Quiet Poverty, I am trying to dream.....

Well Halloween is over, no children came to our apt.

An apt. is a lot like a concentration camp.

Even though dogs were allowed when we moved in and we have a pet deposit the manager follows on trips out.

Usually I walk up the street away from the building, and then I have to go right to the end and back of the complex to go throw the poop away.

I go out on the grounds with the dog if I want to take the garbage out or if it is early and I have just thrown some clothes on so the dog can go out.
When you are 57 and a woman, the morning face could scare someone to death without makeup.

The manager lives across the hall and hears me coming out, and out she comes.
I admit part of the problem is that I won't suck up, we had a run in so, I just don't talk to her.

If I could get a decent job we could get out of here. My daughter will be starting a new job soon, but she won't make enough.

I worked for 18 years in Real Estate in B.C. and had my car repossed, I owe $1200 at the office and was told I can't work anymore because I can't pay my bill.
I went five months with no money but kept knocking on doors, so I quess it is time to move on.

I have only been there 2 of the 18 years, 16 at the Real Estate office before that.

I worked eight years straight of the that as a single mom I only took one weekend off to take my Son camping/

Real Estate is strictly commission and no base salary, no benifits no pension, but lots of costs.
Mls fees every month , office fees deal fees, gas on my daughters borrowed car, etc.

Well I worked really hard for 18 years, in Real Estate, five years as a cashier and oh yah I applied at the dept store where I worked before Real Estate because I have excellent references from Real Estate( awards awards awards, client letters lots!
In additon when I worked at the Dept store the Manager of this store won a trip to Florida partly because I did well, he came and shook my hand and thanked me.

He reccomened me for furniture sales, and set up an appointment for me.

But even though he set it up , they didn't want another woman in there, so I didn't get it.
I worked there till we moved and I got a job at a store in the same chain.

When I left the store I was let know I could come back.

Fast forward 18 years later I apply with all the references I have from Real Estate and and my history there, they were hot to hire me.
I got an interview right away.
But being old and fat, I was not wanted.
Another day, another lost hope.
Back to the poop patrol....
We always pick up after the little dog poops, but this woman likes to pretend she has power.

I have always found that the people who never had power seek it.

It does not seem to matter where the power lurks, whether it is in a strata meeting, line up at the store, on the road, it is a lurking human element.

I liken it to mob rule , the same people that seek power in small amounts pretending they are important are the same types of people in mob rule.

Mob rule is when you get a large group of people together who for the most part cannot or will not have an original thought in their entire life.

I have noticed in life that when you are down there is always those who like to come over and kick you.

There are a few good people here and there who would prefer to help you up, but they are few and far between.

I have worked all my life, so many different jobs five years hospital, army base, navy base helping kitchen and dinning room, catering, waitressing , flag girl, fish plant, fast food, you name I have done it. Now my knees are screwed up, my feet swell,my tooth hurts and I can't afford a dentist, crap things have to get better.

Did I mention I have books full of awards? I know, no one cares..
Thats not true God will help, I hope soon.